According to “USA Today,” “More than a third of recent marriages in the USA started online, according to a study out [in June] that presents more evidence of just how much technology has taken hold of our lives.”

While the Tinder flame is not necessarily burning as brightly on the Fairfield campus as it did when the app was first launched, it seems that all sorts of online dating methods have become the norm of society. Picking the petals off flowers and wondering if “he loves me, he loves me not,” has taken on a new form of simplicity: swipe left or swipe right.

For some reason, I have no problem with online banking or online shopping, but I cannot feed into the fad of online dating. I am not sure there is a single thing I can think of that is more romantic than when a guy sees the first name, age and profile picture of a girl on Tinder and decides to swipe right. With a nervous heart and a fluttering stomach, the poor guy is now left to sit and ponder if this is his one true soulmate or just another case of unrequited love. This is a joke, right? Online dating is lazy to begin with, but Tinder brings laziness to a whole new level. I understand that technology is taking over the world and everything can be done via iPhone or Android in this day and age, but dating? Really?

I can just hear the kids asking, “Mommy, how did you and Daddy meet?” If she is going to be honest, then she is going to have to awkwardly respond, “Well, we were a match on Tinder and then your Dad messaged me and asked ‘How many pushups can you do? Have I seen you on Barstool?’ And that’s when I knew he was the man I was going to marry.”

I can hear the wedding vows now: “I, take you, to be my lawfully wedded husband/wife, my constant Facebook friend, my faithful Twitter follower and my eternal match on Tinder from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to like your Instagram posts on #SelfieSunday and #tbt, to answer your Snapchats both attractive and unattractive and to retweet you whether your 140 characters are used with joy or sorrow. I promise to Vine you when you do something humorous, to support you in your choice of Mac or PC, to honor and respect your current Candy Crush level, to lol and rofl with you and to share my PhotoStream albums with you as long as we both shall live.”

Our generation has been known to find the most innovative ways to go about things with our natural inclinations to technology. And this is marriage that we’re talking about. People are deciding who they are going to spend the rest of their lives with from websites and apps. You’re going to find out the girl’s or guy’s name, age AND what they look like in one picture before you decide if you want to spend your life with them? It just seems like a lot of effort.

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