It is a Friday night. You are on a date with the guy you have been seeing. He takes you to the movies and then out for a romantic dinner. As he is walking you back to your dorm room, you are thinking that you don’t want the night to end.
Your roommate has gone home for the weekend, so you ask him to come in for a few minutes. You and your date start to kiss and you think maybe you have met “the one.”
Suddenly, he starts putting his hands where you don’t want them. You push him away several times, but he is persistent and wants to go further. Your heart starts beating faster when you realize he’s not going to stop until he gets what he wants.
The man who raped you is not a stranger who jumped out of the bushes and kidnapped you while you were walking down a dark alley late at night. He is not the guy you saw on “America’s Most Wanted.”
He is a student at your college. He lives in the residence hall next door. He is in two of your classes and you have been out with him several times.
Date rape is becoming more and more common on college campuses. The University of South Florida conducted a nationwide study on college campuses, which revealed that one in eight college women have been victims of rape. Forty-seven percent of the rapes were by first or casual dates or by romantic acquaintances.
Women who are victims of rape are not likely to report the rapist because they refuse to believe that rape actually happened. Nearly 1/3 of the women surveyed did not discuss the rape with anyone, and over 90 percent of the victims didn’t report the incident to the police.
Many of these rapes would not have occurred if it weren’t for the existence of the date rape drug, gamma hydroxybutrate, as well as the drug Ecstasy, which is popular at clubs and raves. Gamma hydroxybutrate, which resembles clear liquid water and is often frozen into ice cubes, can be prepared at home.
The drug can be easily slipped into women’s drinks and since the drug impairs the memory, often women don’t remember what happened to them after the incident.
If you are a woman, it is your obligation to make your partner aware of your views on sex. Make sure he knows where the limits are. Don’t be influenced into doing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.
Do not leave your drink unattended at a party or accept a drink from someone you do not know well. If your drink tastes funny, don’t drink it. Trust your gut feelings; if a guy makes you feel nervous or uneasy, don’t put yourself in a situation where you’ll be alone with him.
If you are a man, never force yourself on a woman, even if she gives uncertain messages about wanting to have sex. Unless she makes it clear that sex is what she wants, you should assume her answer is no. Make sure alcohol or drugs do not influence your behavior.
Many colleges are attempting to control the problemby arranging programs to make students aware of the potential of rape on college campuses. Fairfield makes an admirable effort to acquaint students with the possibilities of rape and give them many different options to get help.
Katie Koestner gives a lecture for all freshmen in the fall for the first experience program. The goal of this program is to increase the awareness of acquaintance rape as well as stranger rape for men and women on campus.
Koestner gave a motivational speech about her personal experience with date rape when she was a college student. It has been over a year since I have heard Koestner’s speech, but many of her words are still fresh in my mind because they were so powerful.
Any student who wishes to report or ask questions about sexual assault can speak to a counselor 24/7 at SMART (Sexual Misconduct and Abuse Response Team). The confidential number for SMART is 254-4045. A SMART counselor can also be reached by dialing Counseling Services (x2146) or Security (x4090). A counselor can meet with a student and answer any questions in confidence.
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