HE SAID: A word to shy guys: Be a man

Sweaty palms? Nervous movement? Uncertainty? Please…

If there are any guys who are asking the question of who should make the first move, you should seriously consider a sex change. It is our job and duty to initiate. I mean, it is most likely the case that she has no interest in you whatsoever anyway, so why not give it a try.

There is somewhat of an art to the first move. You want to be cool, calm and collected. You need to find that fine line between being aggressive and being passive at the same time.

So how do you know when to go in for the kill? I have learned, through trial and error unfortunately, some things that I can pass along to those who are unsure.

First off, you need rich parents. And not just parents with a nice house in a town with a low crime rate, they must be able to buy you an imported S.U.V. Maybe a BMW three series will work, but your odds will diminish. In no time, you’ll see the ladies flock to you.

Of course, there are probably some shy guys out there who try to make the first move, but are too nervous or scared. I feel for them, trust me. But when it comes to these kinds of things, girls like a man who is confident and can take some initiative.

This is what college is all about. Everyone is here for the same purpose: To get a degree, to have fun, meet new people and definitely tell all their friends all the booty they got the night before.

I must have heard this scenario at least 100 times in the four years I’ve been here: “So dude, how did you get her to go for it?”

“Oh well you know, I wore that tight beater and was telling her about my car and how much money I have…She was basically begging for it.”

Um, that’s BS if I have ever heard it. I can guarantee that all this fictional guy did was go up to the girl and strike up a conversation. What more needs to be done? Kill them with kindness and show them you are confident in yourself and that you don’t need to overload her with petty lies.

Now ladies, I am not saying that you can’t make the first move, whether it’s just striking up a conversation or perhaps a little more. If you really want it, come and get it. Just know that we have probably been thinking about it for a while and you have free range to ask us why we didn’t.