My earliest memories of Valentine’s Day are not fond ones. I can recall how in grammar school every Valentine’s day was an over-celebrated occasion. We were each forced to make valentines for every member of our class, even the smelly kid and the girl that everyone made fun of because she was really into horses.
When I was young, I saw Valentine’s Day as a stupid holiday devoted to love, and I had no idea why. Back then the only things besides my family that I truly loved were G.I. Joes and baseball. Let’s be serious, girls in grammar school have cooties.
Now that I’m all grown up and much more mature, I still can’t say that Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite days of the year. I am a single man, so if you don’t have anyone to spend the holiday with, we’re in the same boat. I’m really not too worried about it though, although it seems some people are.
I overheard a girl the other day whining that she was going to be “alone” on Valentine’s Day. “Alone?” There are a couple thousand people at this school without significant others, but no one has to be alone on Saturday if they don’t want to be. There are going to be so many drunk and horny people looking to hook up at the Grape or at the Sea Ranch’s cuffs and cases party that there is a good chance that everyone ends up with a someone that night.
For the guys who do have girlfriends, it’s going to cost you. On any other day besides February 14, taking your girlfriend to La Salsa is enough to get laid.
Not the case here. Instead of a romantic dinner of chicken quesadillas and nachos, you have to blow all your cash on wine, crab cakes, and a gift that deep down she wishes that she had the receipt for. It boils down to the fact that you have to be on your best behavior and spend a couple of hundred dollars to see what you girlfriend bought at Victoria’s Secret.
The bottom line is that Valentine’s Day is nowhere as cool as real holidays such as Halloween or St. Patrick’s Day. Don’t quote me on it, but I’ve got this theory that there was no St. Valentine at all. The whole day is just a farce, made up by some ugly female executive at Hallmark who had a boyfriend and wanted to rub it in her attractive single friends faces. Look it up if you don’t believe me.
In the meantime regardless of what your dating situation, enjoy this weekend and don’t take the holiday too seriously.
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