He Said: When he or she is just not that into you

First off, welcome back from Spring Break. Whether you went across the Atlantic, down to the Caribbean, across the border to Mexico or Canada or just across state lines, I hope your break was enjoyable. By the looks of the plethora of pictures popping up on Facebook this past Sunday night, it seems like most of you had a pretty good time. I, on the other hand, witnessed that crazy Nor’easter and lost $90 at Mohegan Sun. That was about it.

Now, move your head to the right and read the new girl’s column. Didn’t it suck?

Nah, I’m just playin’. It was well written and all, but the premise was entirely wrong. Girls are ultimately incapable of giving us the shaft. Last time I checked that’s our job, as per our anatomy. But I digress.

Rejecting a girl is like having the power of a presidential veto. Every guy may have their own standards and style, but they all share the power of rejection. Unfortunately for women, well they just don’t have the same clout.

The best is when girls think they can tease us in a futile attempt to break our will. Unfortunately RedTube.com and an ice-cold beer is all we need to overcome their frugality.
These attempts at being coy occur simply because women are always wondering if we think they’re sexy.

Call it vanity or narcissism, but all women are preoccupied with this very fact: They think they are worthy of our love. Unfortunately, not many of them are.
Perhaps the only power girls really have is breaking up with us. Nine times out of 10, this plan always backfires when we decide that your roommates are way hotter and far superior in bed.’

So I’m sorry new She Said girl, I think you don’t stand a chance. Neither your writing skills nor your beach house sway me. That is unless we run into each other at the Grape one of these days, or if you’re interested in a threesome.