Girls:
Girls: 1. Guys are scared of this holiday. God forbid they did something special for you; you may actually think they care or want to get to know you better, perhaps in a way of knowing more than what size of Victoria’s Secret bras and thongs you wear. 2. The guy you’re hooking up with is also hooking up with several other girls. In this case, he is definitely not taking you out. If he takes you out for lunch on Valentine’s Day and then calls it a day, be suspicious. He probably has plans with the other girl or girls later that night – or maybe he is actually taking out his real girlfriend. Hopefully, she won’t be having a Valentine’s Day party at her beach house or townhouse this weekend; it would be so embarrassing to get kicked out. 3. Pressuring a guy to take you out is not going to win him over. My suggestion: slow down the psychopath tendencies and let things happen. If he likes you, he will already have plans to take you out. If not, that should tell you something. Move on. After all, there are so many other FU boys who would love to hook up with you for the evening – and then with your roommate the next night. Guys are generous like that; they never want to leave a girl empty-handed. 4. Do not feel the urge to tell the guy you love him just because it’s Valentine’s Day. He may be scared off, or it may not be the right time. Especially if you’ve just been hooking up for a little while, you do not want the guy to have a solidified reason that all females have psychopath tendencies. Other than that, keep up all the sweet things guys love about you, whether it’s your smile, your personality, the way you laugh. Somehow he’s bound to realize how luck, he is to have you beside him.
Guys:
1. You plan on taking out your top two hookups for Valentine’s Day. You plan it perfectly since the holiday falls out on a Monday. Obviously you have a huge test to study for on Tuesday, so that way you can take out one girl on Friday and one on Saturday. There is even room for an open slot for whomever you want to take out on Sunday. Everyone already thinks you’re a pimp, so you might as well keep up the reputation. 2. Yes, we all know everyone cries poor at this school, but if you could afford to spend $75 at the bar the other night, you can obviously treat her to a candlelit dinner at the Stag, or maybe even cook dinner for her. It would be very impressive to take her beyond the likes of Archie Moore’s or Mike’s Pizza. Okay, fine, there’s probably a guaranteed hookup with her too if you try really hard to please her. Sadly, it doesn’t take much for the girls here since there is such a lack of choices. 3. While girls brag about how nice their guy is to them, guys brag about how hot their girl is or about what goes on between the sheets, or in the shower, or in the roommate’s bed. Remember that if you’re going to hide away a video camera in your room on this bow chicka bow bow day, it’s highly illegal. I am quite sure your girl won’t like that you and all of your roommates will have a quite illegal firsthand account of that special evening the two of you had. 4. Girls are going to ask even more so than often how they look in their outfits on this holiday, or they are going to be even more jealous if you make comments about how hot Eva Longoria of Desperate Housewives is when you see her on television. As annoying as this may be, suck up the pride for the night. If your girl looks hot, tell her. Put aside the fact that she has an enormous beer gut. There has to be something about her that is attractive. Maybe it’s her rack… ummm of lamb that she cooked for you and your roommates last week. Guys love girls who can cook.
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