It is hard for me to write about the perfect date without sounding like a bachorlette number three, who enjoys curling up and watching Sunday afternoon football with wings and a can of good domestic beer. But truth of the matter, it doesn’t take ‘#64258;owers, professions of love on a scoreboard or homemade coupon books to constitute a perfect date (side note, I ‘#64257;nd those coupon books a little creepy, I think your guy should be able to give a free massage without the validation from a homemade dollar with a hand on it). Rather, I think as long as a few simple guidelines are kept in mind, fun and successful dates can happen. Guideline one: Refrain from speaking in instant messenger lingo. No matter how many times we run through perfectly executed conversation topics, invariably several hours of perfectly witty, engaging and ‘#64258;irtatious conversation can be ruined by a “BRB” slip up, to which a “TTYL” response is usually given. If you say “LOL” but aren’t really doing it, well, that’s just weird. Guideline two: Choose a location where it is not necessary to shoot, tackle or rope anything. I can see how paintball, touch football or a rodeo would seem to hold a certain allure as a romantic activity. However, these activities are not necessarily the ideal destinations to share quality time with your signi’#64257;cant other. A paintball hit to the eye or face can never be good for business- an accidental hit to his lower extremedies will ensure a swift end to the date (which is why perhaps our friend Mr. He Said has gotten into the habit of wearing a cup out in public). Guideline three: Do not do an activity your signi’#64257;cant other does not like (or fears) in an attempt of curing long held biases. Example: I hate ‘#64257;sh and am deeply terri’#64257;ed of their beady never blinking eyes. Strange I know. Even Nemo gave me nightmares. One time I went on ‘#64257;shing date because my guy I was with decided he would help me overcome my ‘#64257;sh phobia. Long story short, an hour into our romantic canoe ‘#64257;shing trip I tipped over the canoe when I pulled up a huge, ugly, mean looking, ‘#64258;opping ‘#64257;sh and ended up dropping my pole with ‘#64257;sh still attached into the bottom of the lake. Best to stick with activities that both parties enjoy. When it comes down to it, girls aren’t looking for the perfect date. I’m not even sure it exists. Little things go wrong. But looking back on past dates, the best ones are when the guy awkwardly opened the door for me, or blushed when his mother called. Pick me up, maybe stutter that I look nice, laugh at my jokes, and I’ll probably be happy. And remember my guidelines. TTYL, LOL.
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