There actually is a word that encompasses the notion of having a guy friend that you are attracted to.
My girlfriends and I have coined this the “secret crush,” and for the past four years we have been harboring our own toward our various male friends.
We have really identified two levels to having a secret crush.
The first level is when you have a secret crush on a physical and personal level towards your guy friend.
However, no action is ever taken for one of several reasons.
A)One or both of you is in a relationship that is going well by Fairfield standards (i.e. no one has cheated yet), so feelings remain subdued by significant others and the attraction remains secret.
B)You have seen him passed out drunk repeating “I’m the man,” peeing in the corner of his room and hooking up with girls of questionable reputation too many times to want a relationship of more than friends. However attractive he may seem, he’s not the one to bring home to the family.
C)He knows you think he is attractive so you obviously have to act like he’s not, resulting in a perpetual state of derogatory remarks in jest and a friendship relationship built on this verbal abuse.
Level two is purely physical. There is always temptation to go in for the kill with this secret crush, and then they open their mouth to talk and the awkward walk away is inevitable.
Therefore I think it is possible to be friends with guys you find attractive and have secret crushes so long as the following activities are not participated in:
* Don’t play strip poker or any other kind of activity involving nudity.
* Never drink red wine together.
* Keep breakup and sob stories for the girlfriends; a male shoulder to cry on is really just an opportunity for the rebound hook up.
* Don’t find yourself alone in a dorm room with secret crushes and time to kill.
It’s easy to say, but not so easy to follow.
Many a time I have slipped myself and become involved with a guy friend only to find we are better friends than make-out buddies.
I still have great friendships with these good-looking guys and find them attractive but have no interest in anything else.
On that note, have to give a promised shout out to Drew dubs and Johnny Shaver who are, and remain, hookers.
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