SHE said: Bar etiquette: Know before you go

Regardless of your status as either underage or legal, it’s a pretty well-known fact that everyone who’s anyone will be at one of the Fairfield hot spots on any given Tuesday or Thursday night. That being said, there are some rules that should always be followed:

Stick to your territory: Senior guys will be judged for frequenting The Snickering Squirrel and/or Bravo because they are in attendance for one reason only: To pick up younger girls. Don’t let their “senior status” and willingness to purchase beverages fool you, ladies. If they were worthy of female companionship, they’d be hanging out with girls their own age.

The same rule applies to juniors at the Grape – we wait in line despite how long it is, and you have all of next year to get sick of doing the same thing every night. Just have some patience.

Know the dress code: For legit events like weddings and fancy dinners, my usual dress code rule of thumb is, “If you’re overdressed, you look better.”

This is not the case for a random Tuesday night at the bar (Instead, it goes something like, “If you’re overdressed you look stupid.”) This is especially true if it’s 20 below and you’re standing in line in a tiny dress and no coat. We know you’re not wearing one because you refuse to accept the area behind the lobster tank as a coat check, which brings me to my next rule…

Understand the rules of the Jacket Pile: By wearing a coat to the bar, you are being smart and preventing hypothermia – not to mention, staying comfy while waiting to be let in.

However, you run the risk of walking home sans jacket if you trust your fellow bar mates enough to toss your jacket into the infamous “Jacket Pile.” This is the mountain of identical black North Faces that accumulate in various corners of every bar. Who wants to carry a coat around with them all night? Just toss it in the pile.

But you’ll be sorry when that last call bell rings, and you’re rummaging through the pile, and your jacket is nowhere to be found.

The answer? Innocently swipe its twin (shhh) and leave ASAP. Is it two sizes too big? Don’t worry; just trade it in next week.