SHE SAID: Keeping up appearances in Fairfield

Welcome to Fairfield, the land of the beautiful. People at this school place a lot of emphasis on what size you are, the color hair you have, and how much you can bench.

I think that it is all a little overrated. However, it doesn’t matter just for girls. Guys too have jumped on the bandwagon and spend endless hours eating protein bars and drinking those nasty powder mixes in order to have perfect definition- whatever the hell that is.

As friends pointed out this past week during spring break, you can tell who had fun in college by whether they have that “perfect” body image. For a lot of us, the six packs that we came to school with have changed into the six pack that is always in the fridge.

And you know what, its cool. Not everyone is genetically manufactured to be a size zero nor built like a Greek god. But as long as you are having fun then it really shouldn’t matter.

Guys, the gym can only do some of you good. No matter how jacked you get or how tan you are, some of your personalities still suck and no amount of work can ever fix that. Some of you may wonder why you spend countless hours in the gym, yet girls still wont go home and boff you. My first thought, you probably are an a**hole.

Now, here at Fairfield, you will find shallow girls who probably don’t care all that much about a personality and would rather have some “roided” out guy standing next to them. If you want to find a decent girl, be proud of that baby elephant that keeps growing in your belly. Good girls want more than just the outside image.

Ladies, I know it’s difficult to buy a size four and not a two, but you need to relax. The average woman is like a size 12 and a lot of us here don’t come close to that size. Spring break is over so you have a few months before you will have to get into a bathing suit again so you can relax, the worst part is over.

If you truly like to work out then that’s great. But if you spend three hours in the gym on turbo mode for someone else’s benefit, then you have a problem. Guys will like you if you have a little belly, some even find it a little sexy, or so I’ve heard.

If you have good friends, like the boys at the Traffic Barren, there is no need to worry about any aspect of “the perfect body image”- we love everyone.