When you were little, you imagined that you’d grow up, graduate from high school, go to college, meet the man or woman of your dreams, get married and live happily ever after.
For many that dream has changed dramatically.
The idea of marriage is no longer a priority in the minds of today’s youth. There are many different reasons that can account for the change in the social norm that has been taking place over the years.
“People are more focused on establishing a successful career. They have a lot they want to do with their lives before being committed to marriage,” said Aysha Karachopan, ’04.
According to FUSA President Karen Donoghue, ’03, graduate school is her primary concern, and the idea of marriage is on the “back burner.”
Colleges used to be the most practical and popular place for meeting a potential mate; but this is no longer so, said Howard Markman of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver.
“There is no sense of true intimacy. We are back to ‘hooking up,’ back to the casual sex of the ’60s,” he told USA Today in February 2003. Many Fairfield students agree.
“Marriage is less of a norm because casual ‘hook ups’ are acceptable,” said Monet MacGillivray, ’04.
The median age for a man’s first marriage is 26.8 years, and for a woman, a record high of 25.1 years, indicates the most recent report from the U.S. Census Bureau in 2000. The median age for people’s first marriage has been steadily rising. Only 30 years before, in 1970, the median age for men was 23.2 years, and for women, 20.8 years.
There are many other reasons for this recent trend in American culture.
“We are in the middle of this massive transition. A contemporary crisis in dating and mating,” social historian Barbara Dafoe Whitehead told USA Today in February 2003.
This “crisis” Whitehead is referring to is that dating has almost become a chore for today’s singles.
Today’s youth, women in particular, are not happy with their love lives and that this sort of romantic disappointment has become a theme for this generation, she said.
People magazine recently polled 1,400 unwed men and women between the ages of 18 and 44 and found that 51 percent of women are currently not dating anyone, and 68 percent of them only expect companionship when dating, rather than a potential mate.
However, this disillusionment with romance is not just particular to women; even young men are beginning to share this opinion, as 54 percent say they are not currently dating anyone.
“Since the divorce rate has risen, many people aren’t looking forward to relationships,” said Pat Quinn, ’04. “Young people have enough stress on them already, why would they want more?”
Instead of viewing the “intimate relationship” as something desirable and meaningful, it is becoming more evident that it is simply another hassle pressed upon an already stressed youth.
Another recent report from the U.S. Census Bureau predicts that the population of unmarried women will soon surpass the population of married women in this country.
What is ironic is that most young adults do want to someday find their “soul mate.” It’s just that young people are simply taking longer to be ready for a serious relationship.
“Nowadays, people just seem to try to stay single for as long as possible,” said Shawna Murray, ’05.
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