He Said: Senior Spring: Just Wasting Time

I can’t wait for baseball season. Baseball is my release from whatever I would be doing instead of schoolwork when it isn’t baseball season.

This year, I’m getting NESN added to my beach house’s cable package. For those that don’t know, New England Sports Network, owned and operated by the owners of the Boston Red Sox, broadcasts every Red Sox game.

I am looking forward to a spring filled with sports updates from the scrumptious Hazel Mae and Tina Cervasio, two female employees of NESN that brighten up the lives of every Red Sox fan.

I am already envisioning the opportunities I’ll have to skip out on class and schoolwork, grab some Coors tall boys and watch afternoon Sox games.

Of course, I can only take advantage of this benefit to baseball season because I live off-campus and am subsequently no longer confined to the University’s standard cable package.

Before living at the beach, I was subjected to YES network if I wanted a baseball related escape from my studies. (Yes, I realize the Mets also play on SNY, but seriously, the Mets? Not unless Pedro is pitching).

This year, I am done with YES. Yankee fans can keep their self aggrandizing YES network.

This year I’ll avoid the typical YES “trouble in paradise” news reports of A-Rod complaining that Derek Jeter doesn’t take him out on dinner dates anymore.

I don’t intend to rehash the age-old Yankees/Red Sox argument because that has become a stale angle.

In fact, my personal goal is to go the entire spring without insulting the Yankees, so I won’t be making any jokes about the size of Hideki Matsui’s head or ear lobes or Joe Torre’s nose picking habit, or Jason Giambi’s man boobs and shrunken testicles, or Paul O’Neill’s voice, or Carl Pavano’s plans to begin another season on the DL with menstrual cramps or anything remotely related to the historic Yankee choke-job in the 2004 playoffs.

I’ll admit, the fact that the Yankees will finish in first place in the American League East is the only reason that the Yankees are a concern for Red Sox fans.

I just look forward to another 162 Red Sox games and the ensuing reduction in my productivity.