Author Dan McClorey

I'd describe Mock Wedding in a single word, but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't fly with The Mirror editors. Let's just say if I had to pick a word to rhyme with the one I'd like to use, it would be "spit-show." Normal people would consider an hour bus ride with no air-conditioning on a 75-degree day to be a bad thing.

Looking to get rid of the old ball-and-chain and live it up for the summer? Hell yeah you are. Of course, you probably don't have the testicular fortitude to tell that wench to hit the bricks. Don't worry, I've got a plan.

Nobody will read this article. This issue of The Mirror has been released on the Wednesday before Easter Break. I'm banking that the majority of the student body will be heading home before this issue comes out since Fairfield isn't holding classes on Thursday or Friday.

I can't wait for baseball season. Baseball is my release from whatever I would be doing instead of schoolwork when it isn't baseball season. This year, I'm getting NESN added to my beach house's cable package. For those that don't know, New England Sports Network, owned and operated by the owners of the Boston Red Sox, broadcasts every Red Sox game.

So Meg and I were talking, and we decided what better way is there to welcome everyone back to Fairfield from spring break than with some super hilarious cheers and boos!?

As winter's cold weather continues into March, many Fairfield students anxiously await the arrival of Spring Break. Where will I be heading you ask? The wildly-popular spring break destination of Boston, Mass. Don't hate- I heard Revere Beach is beautiful this time of year.

If you've gotten drunk and you own a cell phone, you've drunk dialed. You've called friends, acquaintances, people you don't even know, and possibly even Mike Jones. But let's be perfectly honest, for guys, the drunk dial serves two specific purposes: getting laughs or getting ass.

Good morning class, I'm your Fairfield University health teacher, Mr. McClorey, and today we're going to learn about human reproduction. Despite my personal belief that I am overqualified to teach the subject, I will be your teacher for the duration of this class.

This week, we took a holier than thou approach to describing some of our favorite college personalities. Everyone knows at least one of these sorry buffoons so enjoy pigeonholing your friends into the following personalities. Those jag-offs are probably doing the same to you.

Though I still firmly believe that St. Valentine was a fee-fee boy, I do have one memorable tale from Valentine's Day. I'd like to take you back to Valentine's Day 1995 in Miss Heffernan's fourth grade class, where a Young Daniel had a crush on the prettiest girl in class, and she liked him back.