She said: the morning after

You pry your eyes open and gaze at the ceiling. Recognizing that it’s your house, you realize one positive: you made it back home-others were less fortunate. As you lay there and put one hand on your throbbing head, you can only think of one thing – WATER. Your mouth is abnormally dry and it feels like you’ve been stranded in a desert for days. As you sit up and glance at the body lying next to you, you’re thankful that it’s your housemate. Wait-how did you end up in your housemate’s bed?

You scramble out of the tangled sheets and race to the bathroom. A sudden wave of nausea hits you and the frantic search for Advil begins. But you can’t see because you slept in your contacts, and as you swish water in your mouth with one hand, you haphazardly squirt contact solution into your eyes with the other.

As you proceed downstairs in search of a more ample water supply, you survey the aftermath and realize that your couches are occupied by acquaintances that were once nameless. Do you thank the Zoo for finally having a party, or do you thank yourself for being too drunk to lock the doors? Note to self: invest in a “No Vacancy” sign.

You sit at the kitchen table, which is covered in shot glasses, empty beer cans and bottles of liquor you knew were full the night before. As you look outside you wonder what tumultuous events occurred the evening prior which brought you to this erratic condition.

The above account is what we college students call the “morning after;” it is a universal commonality which has become much too familiar. From dismissing awkward hook-ups to dealing with an irrepressible headache, every student has been through this dreadful encounter and can relate to the events it entails.

The only positive outcome of the morning after is the infamous weekly brunch. It is during this time that the full evening’s events unwind and you laugh uncontrollably with your friends about your collective sophomoric stupidity. From “remember when…” conversations to visualizing your idiocy on your roommate’s digital camera-damn technology-it is these moments which we will look back on and realize that these truly were the best four years of our lives.