In high school, we watched movies about real college life: endless toga parties, frat lawns decorated with broken furniture and crushed cans, and huge classrooms that you could easily fall asleep in unnoticed. While Fairfield may not meet these college stereotypes, there are other “stereotypical college types” that you will encounter during your four years here. Also, please remember, as Dane Cook says, if you think you don’t know anyone that falls into one of these categories, then bad news: it’s probably you.
“Karen.” Since we already mentioned Dane, we might as well start with “Karen.” Oh goodness, poor “Karen.” I don’t think we need to get too in-depth with this one since most of us are familiar with what I’m referring too. Basically “Karen” is the girl in our group of friends that, to the untrained eye, may appear to be one of our dearest gal pals. However, when “Karen” leaves the room she’s torn to shreds. I’m not happy to admit this and I realize it is not a becoming quality of a polite young lady like myself, however, unfortunately it’s a reality. Sorry Kar.
“The Mess.” This would refer to that male or female (or possibly both) whose mission in life is to have a good time all the time. He or She may commonly be seen wearing sunglasses to hide bloodshot eyes and being escorted out of the Grape every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night-maybe even the occasional Tuesday night. “The Mess” is always good for at least a few laughs, until that one night when you get stuck taking care of him or her; then the entertainment factor is really lost. Still, “The Mess” is a crucial part of your college experience and should not be under appreciated. Another very important sub-category of this group would be “Drunk Girl,” a class act all her own, but she’s a story for another day.
“That Guy.” Not, “That Guy” as in “Ugh, that jackass,” but “That Guy” whose Facebook profile you stalk everyday and “That Guy” that you revolve routes to class around on the off chance that you may get to bump into him and say something coy like, “Oh, I forgot you still went here.” (Yes, I know, I’m so smooth, it’s scary sometimes.)
I’m leaving many other groups out, but bottom line is there are those friends you know you’re going to talk to after graduation and the ones you won’t. My advice is not to tell the ones that you’re not planning on talking to after graduation that until after graduation. We still have a couple of months, it could be an awkward situation.
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