As I lie in bed this morning, several things cross my mind. I contemplate the upcoming day’s events, thinking about which classes I have to attend and what assignments I have due, but one thought invariably comes to mind … “Thank goodness for that early morning weed-whacking going on outside my window!”
Admittedly, the weedwhacker you use is a little loud, but it’s a relief to know that when I walk to my 8 a.m. accounting class, I’ll be able to focus on the lesson ahead of me, not on the overgrown grass around my dormitory.
I set my alarm this morning, but thanks to you, Mr. Groundskeeper, that wasn’t necessary. See, that gas-powered saw you are using to cut holes in the pavement outside of Claver Hall was loud enough. I should count my lucky stars that I woke up for my 9 a.m. class this morning two hours early.
That gave me extra time to look over my assignments and make sure they were ready for class. But your genius doesn’t stop there. I must give you credit for sending the housekeeping lady to my hallway later in the morning to make sure that I was awake. Her 8:30 a.m. vacuuming of the same hallway for 30 minutes definitely jump-started the late-to-rise crowd.
I’m such an early bird that perhaps you and I could arrange some type of schedule whereby you come by my dorm every morning around 7 a.m. and perform your daily tasks within close proximity to my window. Feel free to use any machinery you like, as long as it’s gas-powered. But whatever you do, make sure that I’m not wasting my time by attempting to get more than four hours of sleep.
Go ahead, put off those quieter tasks like watering the grass for later in the day. There are plenty of loud and disrupting chores that you can do as soon as you get to work. I think all Fairfield University students will agree, Mr. Groundskeeper, this campus would not be the same without you.
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