Walking around Fairfield’s illustrious campus everyday, we tend to pick up on little nuances that seem unique to this campus.
Some of these things used to make me downright angry. But since I’ve mellowed over the past year or so, I’ve grown to find them funny.
So without further adieu, here are some of my favorite people at Fairfield.
1. People who blow by you walking about 60 miles per hour on the sidewalk. These people always make me feel a little less important because clearly, they’re going somewhere much more important than I am. A fun little game to play with them is to walk right in the middle of the sidewalk and veer side to side.
2. People who look as though they’re willing to risk personal pride and safety just to see what grade you got on a test. I usually want to say to them: “At least pretend like you’re not trying to look!”
3. People who bring a three-course meal to a 50-minute class. Of course it’s always something like a tuna melt or eggplant that has you searching for viable places to vomit rather than focusing on the class.
4. People who feel the need to tell unbelievably loud stories or draw a lot of attention to themselves in Barone. The story is never very funny and usually awkward if you’re sitting within one mile of a female.
5. People who manage to represent Burberry, Polo and Louis Vuitton all at the same time while walking around campus. Extra points here if Seven Jeans are involved. Usually right after seeing these people, I’ll see a girl walk by in a sweatshirt and a pair of Levi’s and it will take me .00006 seconds to determine that the second girl looked better.
6. People who don’t lower their voices in the library when talking to one of their friends or answers their cell phones. Maybe I’m a little too conservative about this kind of thing, but I don’t even like answering my cell phone in a room full of my friends, never mind talking to my grandparents in a room full of studying students.
7. People who don’t like to take an extra two seconds to hold a door for you when you’re right behind them. This one never ceases to amaze me. I know sometimes it’s awkward to hold a door for someone, especially when the two parties involved are both males, but it’s always appreciated when you receive a random act of kindness. My favorite situation is when you’re following someone for a while and they never hold doors for you; my record is four … see how high you can get.
8. People who feel the right to give a strong “BOOM BOOM!” when they knock on your door and you may/may not be doing something that security would frown upon. Granted, it’s always fun to see which people hide in closets, jump out windows and run upstairs, but it’s usually an unwanted hassle for the host of the party who usually takes at least 10 minutes to regain his or her composure. This person should receive a 10-minute suspension from your party until they can learn how to knock like a normal human being.
9. People who are disobedient guests at your party. This happens in every dorm, townhouse and house across America, and it’s something that can’t be stopped. These are usually people who drink your beer but not before spilling it. People who turn up your music and then deny it, only to turn it up again. People who tell you that they love you after meeting you just 10 minutes ago and repeatedly telling you what a good guy you are.
I am sure all of you know some of these people and will immediately bring this up to them so they might realize their behavior is unacceptable and not funny to some people.
You may be one of these people; I know I’m guilty of at least two of the things on this very list. For instance, right now I’m being that guy in the computer lab typing too loudly and laughing to myself every few minutes.
Hey, nobody’s perfect.
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