He said: The joy of (the opposite) sex

Editor’s Note: In honor of April Fool’s Day, HE said and SHE said switched roles to bring you a perspective from the other gender.

The men at this school, or should I say boys, are too weak to be up front and direct when trying to tell us that they are interested. Therefore, we must take the high road and make the first move.

Ladies, if you are trying to let your beau to know exactly how you feel about him, you need to dress as slutty as possible. Trust me on this. Since the weather is getting nicer, you should walk around in your bra and lace panties.

After all, isn’t this why we starve ourselves and spend countless hours at the gym everyday? Wearing as little clothing as possible will definitely get him to notice you. Also, act like a guy whenever possible, example to follow.

If he is uncontrollably drunk at the bar, you should join the celebration. Since, deep down, we all secretly love when a guy is too wasted to physically speak, we should drink at his level to let him to know that we care. After all, nothing says, “I’m really into you!” like being kicked out of the Grape together.

Another way to show your crush that you dig his style is to get touchy-feely with him when you’re both out at a social gathering. If you’re trying to land that hottie baseball player (two words: super hunk!), smother him with PDA while he’s trying to casually talk to someone.

I cannot stress this point enough: guys love being accosted. Seriously. Get all over him and he’ll be at your door quicker than his signature pitch. Just make sure you’re prepared to catch his fastballs!

If these methods don’t work, simply go up to that Brad Pitt look-a-like in your Biology class and scream, “I wanna bang!” Be straightforward with your desires and your crush will know that you are interested in him.

Ladies, if your man is still too stupid to notice you wearing nothing but your underwear, slobbering all over him while screaming, “I wanna bang,” then you’re just going to have to resort to full-on lesbianism.

We’ve all thought about make-out sessions with our roommates, and I think it might be time for us to act on our urges. Wouldn’t you agree?