When in a relationship in college, suddenly the lone Stag finds himself spending more and more time with this sometimes irrational, emotional being known as a female. Almost overnight it becomes unacceptable to leave the seat up, walk around in your underwear or your roommate to do anything
Suddenly, there are repercussions for kicking a girl out of your room so that you can play Xbox and say bad words with your friends. Don’t even think about having a guy’s night out. Everything you do constitutes the possibility of cheating. Also, you’re always wrong and “fine” (as defined by the movie ‘The Italian Job”) usually means she’s freaked out, insecure, neurotic and/or emotional.
Everything moves so much faster in college. Relationships at home means seeing them for like 2 hours a day compared to the 8 or 12 hours you spend with them while living on campus. Seeing your sugar muffin or whatever disgusting pet name you have for each other every day makes it seem like you’ve been together a lot longer then you really have. Pretty soon you won’t even remember what it was like to be single. Remember, 60% of all Fairfield alumni end up marrying other Fairfield alumni. Think about that, gentlemen. Scary isn’t it?
Despite this otherwise hopeless situation you’ve found yourself blocked into, there are perks. Forget about cleaning your room. Women have a standard of cleanliness that no man can breach. That being said, as she slowly creeps into your room like the parasite she is, she will notice that you live in a dirt infested shanty and promptly commence Operation: ‘Bleach and Clean everything’. Boxes of pizza and dirty underwear piled on your desk are no match for a woman with a broom (get the witch reference?) My advice, get dirty. Eventually she will become so fed up with hanging out in the mess you call a room that she will have no choice but to take matters into her own tiny hands.
Long distance relationships are the most volatile of all relationships. Nothing ruins a day more than getting screamed at via text from a jealous girlfriend who has zero capacity for trust and saw pictures on Facebook of you in the vicinity of another female. So heinous. Spending an entire week text-fighting is one of the easiest ways to destroy a relationship and just flat out piss me off. Trust is seriously the key to making this work, that and talking civilly every day. Seriously people .
Overall a relationship in college can be a blessing or a curse. It shouldn’t make or break your time in school, which are some of the best times of your life. If it’s not working then it’s not working. Don’t stay with something that makes you unhappy, and don’t lie to the other person or yourself. It’s about being happy together, not turning each other’s lives into living hells. This is college.
-Sent from my iPhone
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