I’m not an athlete or a health nut, but I try to stay in shape. After all, this is Fairfield University, Land of the Beautiful People. I go to the Rec Plex four times a week to clear my head, relieve stress and work off the three slices of pizza that seemed like a good idea at 11:47 p.m. the previous night.
A few days ago, as I wheezed and grunted my way through the weight loss program on one of the elliptical runners, I looked around and it hit me. I am apparently the only female at Fairfield who sweats when she works out.
The dewy glow that some of the ladies get at the gym, the kind that needs only the gentle dab of one of the white towels to vanish, is not what I am talking about. I am talking about red-faced, liquid streaming down my face, check-out-the-sweat-ring-forming-around-my-collar perspiration that one gets after running a marathon (or, in my case, using one of the cardio room machines for a half hour).
I am part of an older school of thought, one that believes women ought to sweat when they exercise and look foxy and un-sweaty at townhouse parties. I suppose I can take comfort in the facts that a) I am likely getting a better workout than other, less damp people at the gym and b) there never seem to be more than three or four guys, tops, in the cardio rooms at once.
With the recent decision to have women-only hours at the weight room once a week, I started to think, If the Rec Plex is going to allot certain hours to specific individuals, why not go all the way? I propose sweaty workout time (SWT) from 9 a.m. – 11:30 a.m., Monday through Friday.
No longer will those of us who actually look-gasp!-unattractive as we work out be forced to watch women who don’t sweat daintily climb up stairs to nowhere without so much as a strand of hair out of place (I have yet to find a hair product in this Earth that successfully tames my fly-aways…ladies, you know what I’m talking about).
No longer will we wonder how anyone can workout without smearing their Full Volume mascara.
No longer will we feel shame in not being able to “work it” as we work out! Sweating women of the world unite! There is only one downside to SWT that would have to be endured:
The cardio room would start to smell like the weight room.
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