You knew it had to be too good to last. The relative calm between beach residents and Fairfield students miraculously survived for a few years, despite the cancellation of Clam Jam and the ensuing litigation.
However, according to an article in last Thursday’s Connecticut Post it looks like the goodwill has subsided, thanks to the last reputable bastion for truth in journalism, The Mirror’s own He Said/She Said column.
Chuck Abercrombie, president of the Fairfield Beach Residents Association, sent an angry letter to President Jeffrey von Arx, objecting to the events of Mock Wedding. Abercrombie outlined his disgust of strippers present at the event, as our columnists wrote about. A lawyer for the residents is also looking into whether or not the event violated the temporary injunction against large gatherings. It is possible the residents even videotaped or photographed the event as evidence.
Bravo, Mr. Abercrombie. You figured us out. Like Sherlock Holmes finding an obscure clue to lead him to a solution, you were able to channel your moral outrage by reading about the event a week after it occurred, using a college columnist as your sole piece of evidence. Clearly the event was so traumatic that you weren’t able to complain about it until well after the fact. Remind me to send a letter to Pontius Pilate about that unnecessary crucifixion.
All kidding aside, I can understand where Abercrombie is coming from. Once I graduate next month I will be on the outside looking in, watching college kids having fun while I am trying to mow the lawn and watch Matlock reruns. Since our columns seem to be the prime source for their news, I thought that I would be a helpful Fairfield student and let Abercrombie and the rest of the year-round citizens in on all of the events The Mirror has yet to reveal but they have every right to rail against.
Fall Harvest – Like farmers gathering the crops each season, Fall Harvest is an annual favorite that runs like clockwork on the last Saturday in September. People gather at The Point to celebrate the local cannabis crop by lighting up and enjoying the outdoors.
White Christmas – I guess we get away with this one because it is indoors. Every winter on the last Friday in December of the semester, beach residents gather at appointed houses and everyone gets an eightball. First one to finish gets a case of beers.
Finals Friday – I really hate to release the details on this one, I know it’s been tradition for almost a decade now and we’ve managed to keep it hidden somehow, but someone has to do it.
On the Friday after the first week of finals, all beach residents and invited seniors gather at a variety of houses with paper, envelopes, stamps and pens. It’s an intricate operation superbly orchestrated by a secret organization. Each house assumes the identity of a cantankerous, bitter Fairfield resident and pens a letter to local newspapers and the university, decrying the actions of the students. It was long ago reasoned by graduating seniors that if we can’t have some old Fairfield traditions, then underclassmen shouldn’t be allowed to have any of them.
I feel bad revealing all these secrets that we have worked so hard to keep, but I think most people already realized the joke with Abercrombie’s letter. You didn’t really think anyone would be silly enough to climb on a moral high horse to attack Chuck Kehoe’s He Said column with such a clearly invented name like Chuck Abercrombie, did you?
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