Wanted something to read the other day. So after I finished reading everything – and by everything I mean, did you know Mark Loretta’s parents, brother and sister, took a Duck Boat tour of Boston last weekend? – about the Red Sox’ 7-6 win over the Mariners on April 17, I decided to scroll through the best list ever compiled.
That list, the top 99 reasons why baseball is better than football, was compiled by The Washington Post’s Thomas Boswell in 1987.
Everything on it is every bit as true now as it was then. So, with all due respect to the Hogettes, the Lambeau Leap, the West Cost Offense, the Two Minute Drill and every other contribution football has made to Western civilization, I thought of a few more things to add, with inspiration from the last 19 years in sports.
In honor of baseball season, here’s my list, which, if combined with Boswell’s, would complete the 109 biggest truths in sports:
100. Baseball celebrated Jackie Robinson Day last week, commemorating the 59th anniversary of the day baseball’s color barrier was broken. Ask any American historian and he or she will tell you Robinson is among the ten most influential Americans of the 20th century. Babe Ruth is probably there too. I dare someone to name a football figure in the top 100.
101. Baseball is a sign of spring. With it comes leaves on trees, the end of the school year and an excuse to play hooky from work to enjoy a day at the park. Football comes with cloudy weather and midterms.
102. No. 10 on Boswell’s list is so good, it gets to be repeated: “The [1987] Redskins have 13 assistant coaches, five equipment managers, three trainers, two assistant GM’s, but for 14 games, nobody could kick an extra point. ”
103. When a team wins the Super Bowl, its a nice story, but a week after the game, most serious sports fans are only thinking about which non-roster invitees are coming to Spring Training.
104. In 2004, Massachusetts’s junior senator came within a stadium’s worth of votes for being the 44th president of the United States, but still lost out to General Manager Theo Epstein, who led the Sox to their first Series title since the Wilson Administration, in the balloting for The Boston Globe’s “Bostonian of the Year” award. Try to find 10 people who can name the general manager of their favorite football team.
105. Everyone knows that Don Larsen is the only pitcher in baseball history to throw a no-hitter in a playoff game (his was a perfect game in the 1959 World Series), but no one knows or cares that Desmond Howard of the 1996 Packers is the only special teams player to win the Super Bowl MVP award.
106. In football, the top two topics of conversation after the biggest game of the year are the commercials and the halftime show.
107. In Chicago, football’s Cardinals struggled to win, so they moved to St. Louis, where they were overshadowed by the baseball Cardinals and moved to Phoenix. The Cubs, on the other hand, are approaching 100 years without a World Series win and sell out every home game.
108. Baseball has “Put me in Coach,” “Take me out to the Ballgame” and “The Boys of Summer.” All football has is the “Twins” song from Coors’ Light commercials. Try listening to that one without the video.
109. If an eighth grade boy French kisses a girl, he tells his buddies he got to first base; not that he got a first down on a six-yard carry by his running back.
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