CSI – Perhaps it is a testament to the mind-boggling stupidity of the American television-viewing public as a whole that this show is so popular. This Law and Order wannabe features forensic scientists tracking down and interrogating suspects; in reality, they do nothing more than scientific grunt work that detectives need.
Survivor – Enough already.
Fear Factor – See #2. Seriously though, there’s only so many times I can watch some hot woman eat a horse anus for A CHANCE to win $50,000. And who was the genius at NBC who said, “Hey, you know who we could get to host this show! The really annoying guy from News Radio!” Evidently Andy Dick was too busy.
Sex and the City – I know I’ll catch hell for this, and people will say that I just don’t understand the humor in using a vibrator to help get a newborn baby to sleep at night, but nevertheless, this show is just stupid. What really amazes me is that week after week, millions of people still tune in to watch four whiny, stupid broads kibbutz about their sex lives. I bet if the title for this show was different, no one would watch it. But the people, they love the sex. Also, Kim Catrall’s recent win at the Golden Globes highlights a new low for the Hollywood Foreign Press: have these people seen her character arc? Let’s see, in season 1 she was really easy and now she’s, oh wait, she’s still really easy. What great writing! This show needs to be banished to television hell, and please, take Arli$$ along for the ride.
Will and Grace – This show is the worst thing to happen to the gay rights movement in television history. It’s pretty sad that the show is so popular among the gay community. I mean, I think it’s popular among the gay community. I mean, nevermind. Regardless, it makes me wonder why a show can be so popular when it reinforces so many of the stereotypes the gay community as a whole has been fighting against for decades.
The Anna Nicole Smith Show – This show is just terrifying. If the E! Network really wanted to follow around a waste of life for a year, why couldn’t they just pick me? This show is one of the most uninspired pieces of pop-culture feces that will ever stain the cultural landscape of America.
E!’s Wild On series – It pains me to call this show bad, because I have watched it from time to time. But let’s be serious, the only reason anyone watches this show (I doubt its viewership is made up of anything more than hormone-mad teenagers too poor to afford pornography) is to see scantily clad women who are drunk partying it up with resident E! dufus Art Mann, the posterboy for modern American emasculation.
Game Show Network – There’s only so many awful, 1970s double-entendres that I can tolerate at once, and my threshold is crossed any time that I tune in to watch “Match Game” on GSN. The mediocrity doesn’t stop there: this network offers up more shows that should not have been aired in the first place, much less today. “Card Sharks” comes to mind. “Press Your Luck” is just sickening. It really makes me want to vomit. “No whammies, no whammies, no whammies, STOP!” Stop indeed.
Crossing Over – The people on this show depress me terribly. That’s it.
The Ham Channel’s “Into It! Live” – Seriously, a whole episode devoted entirely to vampires? Or Back to the Future? The only saving grace of this show is the live call-in segments which certain members of the Mirror staff have been known to abuse.
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