Dear Dee,
I just heard from my parents that they are having a trial separation. I think I am still in shock, but it feels like my world is breaking apart. I am an only child so I don’t have any siblings that I can turn to and vent with. Obviously I can’t call my parents either since they are the cause of my stress. My parents say they are both ok and that they will remain friends while they figure things out. I guess they think that will make me feel better, but truthfully, right now I really don’t care. My friends here are trying hard to understand but I still feel so alone. Am I being overdramatic or sensitive? More than anything else I am now dreading going home for the holidays. I just needed to know someone was listening..
Thank you,
Lost the Spirit
Dear Lost the Spirit,
I first want to tell you that I am so sorry. Anytime we have to deal with emotions around family matters it creates a void and it feels that no one else can really understand. However, it does not mean that we are alone. Although your friends may not understand everything you are dealing with, they are a great form of support. As you said, it is important to have someone to listen. Since you don’t have any siblings, maybe a close aunt or uncle can help you put things in perspective if you feel comfortable enough to talk to them. Otherwise, a friend from home might also be a good person to reach out to since they most likely know your parents and can add some personal insights.
The most important thing for you to remember is that you will be ok too with time. Your parents obviously love you since they called you together and tried to assure you that things will be ok. I am sure this was not an easy decision for them and they most likely want to spare you as much pain as possible. The fact that they said they are going to try and work things out is positive. Marriage is a lot of work and requires both partners to put effort to make it work and to put their partner ahead of themselves many times. Your parents are taking time to clear the air and hopefully figure out how to get things back on track. What you need to do is to take care of yourself and know that this has nothing to do with you. Spend your time home over the holidays visiting with family and friends and remembering the good. If you want to talk to your parents about what is going on, then tell them that. You are important to them and I am sure they will be glad to help you understand. In fact, you might be the catalyst that will make them remember why they fell in love.
No matter what, rejoice in you…and Happy Holidays!!!
– Dee
Disclaimer: This column is for entertainment only. The author is a student, not a licensed therapist, and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice. The views expressed are the author’s and are not necessarily shared by The Mirror or its staff.
Leave a Reply