HE Said…

” All you’re thinking about in the morning is getting the hell out of there before she realizes you stole her panties.”

After a night of hooking up, I could care less whether I wake up in my bed or half naked on the beach to the sound of seagulls pecking away at my bare a$$. Any place you can hook up is a good place if you don’t get caught in the act. However, if the night of debauchery did permit me to choose, I would want it to be in my room.

Why? The answer is not just because I have my hidden video camera set up, but because I like comfort. I wouldn’t want to have to look around buck naked for my leopard thong in her room while her roommate tries to sneak a peak at my equipment. I have no problem being naked in my house but in a strange girl’s room, her roommate could take offense. After all, I’m a nice guy and I’m not out to offend anyone.

I also want the comfort of being able to sleep in. This is not usually the case in a hook up’s room when all you are thinking about in the morning is getting the hell out of there before she realizes you stole her panties. In your own room, you can sleep all morning in a warm bed and they will be the one burdened with the walk of shame in the cold. I almost have to feel sorry for the unlucky girl to face this but at the same time I enjoy the stories my housemates tell me that morning about their enjoyment of the sounds coming from my room the previous night.

If Maria wants, she can borrow a pair of sweat pants so she doesn’t have to freeze walking back in her capris. Afterall, she’s a nice girl and never has hooked up (wink, wink). It’s the least I can do to help her out.

Fellas, stay in your own room. Prove it to your boys, be a man and don’t give in to going over to her place.

SHE Said…

“Get out of there immediately or chose to stick around until late morning if the guy happens to be worth it.”

At his place, so you don’t have to worry about an unwanted guest in your room the morning after. You can wake up refreshed, and get out of there immediately or chose to stick around until late morning if he happens to be worth it. I like having that option and I hate feeling like you have to baby-sit a guy who sleeps in longer than you and occupies your bed until you give him the old “tuck and roll.”

Personally, I don’t mind the walk of shame. I’ll admit my favorite part is borrowing his clothes to walk home. You can always keep his favorite pair of sweatpants to wear or burn, whichever you prefer.

Sleeping at the guy’s is usually better because a guy’s housemates are usually cooler with a sleepover than a girl’s. You know, it’s the whole macho thing, high fives all around for the guy who gets a girl to stay over. Girls are more polite with that stuff; we don’t like to sexile our roommates.

I think, by sleeping at the guy’s house, you can tell whether he’s a nice guy. Some sure signs to look for… One, does he introduce you to his friends en route to the bedroom. Two, does he offer you a glass of water before you get to the kissing, etc. part of the night. This is so important because you always need some water before and after you get with someone and especially the next morning. And lastly, does he offer to take you out to breakfast the next morning. That shows he had fun the night before and he’s not ready for you to leave yet, basically a real sweetheart.

Ladies, if I haven’t sold you yet on where to stay, here’s another thing to keep at the back of your mind. If you and this guy don’t hit it off, you can always network his housemates. At the beach that’s an average of 5-7 different guys. And for a girl, that’s a lot of hooking up.

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